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Going the Full Forty
We have come to the end of “Forty Weeks”, the blog I began back on the first day of Spring, March 21/21. That first blog spoke about the “Fullness of Time”. We are now at it, just in time for Christmas! Coincidentally, I was just with a mom who went the “Full 40” and had a beautiful baby boy. She wanted to wait until the fullness of time, and she did…even though because of her age and stage she was a candidate for early induction. She bided her time with her OB carefully watching, and had her baby at the moment he was meant to come. Often mamas ‘go…
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Slow and Low
“The cattle are lowing” is a line from a Christmas carol that you are probably hearing a lot now in December. Cows have it right. Apparently, they make noises at a lower frequency when their calves are near them. What a great model the lowly bovine is for us humans! I have been in on births where there are high-pitched screams. These are typically not productive. They are signs of stress, fear, panic and meltdowns in a labouring mom. Sometimes the fight or flight responses are overwhelming and moms just freak out. I remember one labour that was slow-to-start for a number of days. Mom was exhausted yet keyed up…
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Preparing a Place
All mamas want to have a place to have their baby and to put their baby after birth. We call it “the nesting instinct”. In fact, all mammals do it, and though we don’t think of it very often, we are mammalian! Humans have live babies, and nourish them with milk, just like elephants and cats do! Now, I have been a doula for moms who take nesting to a whole new level: having a pristine nursery that has the best of the best in gadgets and questionably “necessary” things, things, things for baby. Truthfully, babies don’t need a lot of things. The basic needs, to be warm, fed, loved…
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Let it Be
These famous lines from the Beatles song of the same title were apparently written from a dream Paul McCartney had of his own mother, Mary, who had passed away. They were so comforting to him that he wrote a song about them on the Beatles’ last album. But these words are also taken from another Mary, the mother of Jesus. She spoke words that were similar in Luke 1:38: “I am the Lord’s servant”, Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said”. Then the angel left her. It seems to be a bit of a coincidental overlap of these two phrases coming together in a very popular…
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The Three Pondering Statements
If God above had anything he wanted to say to a woman who going to become a mother, what would that be? These words, these three statements: You are Highly Favoured. The Lord is with you. Do not be afraid Mary, the mother of Jesus, heard these words, delivered by the angel Gabriel, sent from God. From posterity and the hand of the gospel writer Dr. Luke, we have a glimpse into what was said. These are what I call The Three Pondering Statements. They were not only what Mary needed to hear, but perhaps what you need to hear, what every pregnant mother needs to hear. Let’s look at…
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She Did What She Could
This is the hardest blog I will write this year. It comes with latent grief and hard and sad memories. It also comes with honour of a life well lived and hope for the future in the form of a baby son. Years ago, I was a doula for a woman who got cancer during her pregnancy, and died a few short months after her baby boy was born. Let me tell you a bit about this client, whose name will remain confidential. She was a beautiful, smart, honest, realistic person who was thrilled to be pregnant after having difficulty conceiving. She wanted this baby so much, as did her…
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Open
This word. One small word. If you take anything into labour with you, take this word. What a beautiful word it is. Many moms have told me that this word has taken them through some bumps in their baby bump season. How many times did I share it on hospital maternity ward tours? I encouraged couples: if you’ve forgotten everything I’ve said about the hospital and the protocols, remember just this one word. This is why I love it and why moms need to use it in birth: You need to Open Physically: Your body will slowly go from one centimetre dilation to ten centimeters (roughly the size of a…
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Your “Inner Amazon”
I was in on a birth years ago when I heard “let your Inner Amazon” out! A nurse was encouraging a birthing mother to give all of her strength into her final pushes before baby was born. The way this phrase landed was just enough to give the mom that “Wonder Woman” look of determination and focus that she needed, and to pull on the reserves of energy and strength left in her body. Shortly after we were all exulting in the lusty wail of a newborn! Since that time, I have often used this image to encourage moms when the going is especially tough. Those final pushes can feel…
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One Day
One Day, approximately. This is the time it takes for a typical first-time labour to take place: 12-24 hours according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists (www.acog.org) This is a fact I give to first time, and sometimes second and third time moms. I say, “You can live one day in your life. You have lived many days of your life up until now, and you can do this one too.” Just these few words can give a new mother-to-be great relief. It helps put things in perspective. The thought of having a baby, especially when one has not had one before, can be overwhelming. It can be…
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Roses open Slowly
I have a rosebush. It’s pretty, yet very thorny. I have sometimes cut a rose stem with buds on it before they are ripe to open. In my kitchen in a vase, they will not open. I read up on it and this is what one floral website wrote: Cut a rose flower only after its sepals have opened and turned downward. Sepals are the flower parts that look like green petals. If the sepals are wrapped tightly around a cut rosebud, the flower will not open. If a rose flower is of a variety typically has many petals, then wait until a few rows of petals are open before…